, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hello, party people!

I don’t know what got me started thinking about this but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a natural disaster. I’ve been in the middle of hurricanes, earthquakes, floods and one plague of locusts but nothing that had ever caused massive devastation so I wouldn’t classify them as natural disasters since nothing was destroyed to a large degree.

I guess my experiences with potentially disastrous natural phenomena has left me a little disappointed because I never got the chance to be in those situations so I was never “tested” to see what I would do.

This is why I become so enthused when inclement weather is on the way, “finally! Something is going to happen!” But nothing of consequence ever does.

The last event that held the most potential was an earthquake.

I felt the building shake and I thought nothing of it. “It’s just a passing 18-wheeler,” I thought. The shaking didn’t stop so I got up and looked out the window. I was very confused and I didn’t realized I was in any danger until I saw the glass walls of neighboring buildings ripple like water, then I and everyone else got the fuck out of there.

There were no earthquake evacuation procedures so clearly no one had a clue as to where to go. Initially we took shelter in a parking structure but we thought it would collapse so we took to the streets where we could be crushed by multiple buildings.

Eventually I learned it was just an earthquake. I was extremely disappointed because I had already built up this idea in my head that it was a monster attack. I was waiting for Godzilla to come crashing through the buildings like in those old movies where a guy in a dinosaur costume would clumsily waddle through impressive-looking models of cities and towns.

I still hold onto hope that we do see our first monster attack soon. With all of the naturally occurring threats in the world that are not weather-related (read: viruses, bacteria, other pathogens) I think it’s just as likely that some beast will bring about the end of the world before something like a planet-wide cataclysmic flow does.