, , , , ,

Hey Party People!

Now I’ve forgotten what I was thinking about. Oh, yes! I wanted to tell you fine people about one of Elvis Presley’s favorite sandwiches. I bet you’re saying to yourself, “ugh, who doesn’t know about the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich?,” but this sandwich is NOT what you might expect. My recollection is a wee bit hazy but the story goes something like this…

There’s this place (a diner, I suppose) in Denver that made this sandwich that Elvis absolutely loved. The sandwich was made from a hollowed-out loaf of bread stuffed with two pounds of [delicious] fried bacon. That’s it. There isn’t much else to this sandwich but whenever Elvis’ appetite craved this particular delicacy he would fly out to Denver in his private jet with barely a moment’s notice to feast on this greasy dish.

I also recall a story about Elvis when he was made an honorary deputy for the Los Angeles Police Department(?). He was given a badge that he got a real big kick out of when he flashed it around, “… official police business, ma’am. Thank you very much.”

Elvis was even taken out on patrol. He rode around in a cruiser and, though the police officers were ordered not to bring him into any risky situations, Elvis did get the chance to run after a suspect and rough him up. Elvis was never given a piece to carry but you can bet he brought his own.

The last story I remember was the time he and his boys in the Memphis Mafia were watching movies and Elvis explained some of the special effects, like how they’re able to make a tub of water look like the ocean and a plastic boat look like a real one. This gave Elvis the grand idea to stage their own sea battle in the pool.

He told some guys to go to the local toy store and buy all the plastic toy boats and all the BB guns they had.

When the guys got back to the mansion they dumped all the boats into the pool and Elvis handed everyone a BB gun and, after laying down some ground rules, they lined up beside the pool. Elvis then said, “ready… aim… FIRE!” With that all the guys started blasting the toy boats to pieces.

Some time passed and then Elvis said, “this is too easy, we need moving targets.” He told his guys to go back to the toy store and buy all the motorized boats they had. The guys returned, wound up all the boats and let them loose in the pool. Again, Elvis said, “ready… aim… FIRE!”

This went on for so long that Elvis had food brought out to the pool so they wouldn’t have to stop.

Hours later things began to wind down. Someone tried to take a picture but the flash bulb didn’t go off, so they picked it off the top of the camera and threw it into the pool… and everyone started shooting at it. Well, when a BB finally hit the bulb it made a flash, then Elvis said, “go to the camera shop and buy all the flashbulbs they have.”

As the guys were paying for the flashbulbs the shopkeeper asked, “what film do you need with these?,” to which they replied, “oh, we don’t need any film,” and made their way to the exit with the shop’s entire inventory of flashbulbs.

It was dark as everyone emptied the flashbulbs into the pool.

Elvis lined everyone up and then ordered them to fire. The ensuing spectacle can only be described as a 4th of July fireworks show as bright flashes of light and shattered glass filled the pool.

By morning it was clear that Elvis and the boys had made a big mess of the pool and yard to the point that the landscaper was furious. Elvis got the message and he never did it again… not because of the damage it caused or anything, but because he got bored.

Such is the quest for entertainment when you’re The King.