Hello, all you wonderful people, you!
Did you enjoy your weekend? Did you have a blast at your St Patrick’s Day party, last night? Did you maybe drink too much green beer? Did you put your fate in the hands of total strangers as you let yourself get dragged from bar to bar? Did you wake up this morning duct-taped to the top of your car?
No? Well then it sounds like you didn’t have as much fun as THAT guy!
Nothing like that would ever happen to your dear narrator. I’m much too fragile for that kind of mischief. Hah.